I Wish Somebody Could've Told Me

I never knew it could be this exhausting.

I never knew cheap thrills could be this exhausting.

I never knew this constant-conversations-to-strangers-real-quick routine could be this exhausting.

I never knew that this burning feeling not because of glee but more like a chest pain from missing you could be this exhausting.

I never knew that making up excuses just to justify your inconsistencies could be this exhausting.

I never knew that making up excuses just to keep off my mind that you were just another specimen of low-key asshole could be this exhausting.

I never knew that putting you first who treats me like nothing in return could be this exhausting.

I never knew that being in denial that I was already falling in love with you because I pitied myself; because I knew I deserved more, could be this exhausting.

I never knew that wondering if you were excited as I was to see you every fucking time could be this exhausting.

I never knew that being clueless where I stand in your life could be this exhausting.

I never knew hoping that there could be a chance between us could be this exhausting.

I never knew that being trapped into this quicksand bullshit they called "one-sided love" could be this exhausting.

I wish I knew.

I wish somebody told me.

I wish I knew.

---

Original poetry by Clare Batac

Photo from Café Society film

Originally posted in Niume, January 21, 2017

#poetry #musings #sad #love #lost